Rabies
Rabies is a virus that is transmitted through physical contact like bites and scratches from animals like dogs or bat. Unlike flu, which transmitted through the air, rabies can’t thrive in the air. The direct contact from the virus will transmit.
Rabies is a silent deadly virus that kills thousands of people each year. It’s called “silent” because rabies will take weeks to months to start showing symptoms. It’s undetectable because the virus evades immune system and not present in body fluids test until fatal stage.
It takes time to feel the symptom depends on the location of the bite. The farther the bite from the brain or heart, the slower it is for the virus to actually damage the body. For example, the bite in the leg will take effect slower than the bite in the hand. The virus is living in the nerve so it will take effect faster if the tip of the hand fingers got biten, because it has more dense nerve.
When the first symptom appear, like salivating, fatigue, fever, irritability, they are caused by the virus attacking the central nervous system.
The acute period could lasts until death. People with late-stage rabies can’t drink water because it causes painful spasm (muscle contracting/tightening) in the throat and larynx. This creates a cruel paradox, when the body desperately needs water, the throat refuses and it’s painful.
Medically, it’s curable if it’s not too late. There’s a vaccine that should be injected in the wound before or after it’s confirmed a rabies. For the first aid treatment, wash the wound with water for at least 15 minutes and then use soap.
AI-edited writing
Here’s the corrected grammar and more proper vocabulary use of my essay above (I’m trying to learn essay writing):
Revised Essay (IELTS Academic Style)
Rabies is a viral disease primarily transmitted through direct physical contact, such as bites or scratches from infected animals like dogs or bats. Unlike influenza, which is airborne, the rabies virus cannot survive in the open air and requires direct fluid contact for transmission.
This virus is an insidious killer, responsible for thousands of deaths annually. It is often described as “silent” because of its variable incubation period, which can range from weeks to months before symptoms manifest. During this latent phase, the virus remains undetectable, effectively evading the immune system and remaining absent from standard diagnostic tests until it reaches a critical, often fatal, stage.
The duration of this incubation period depends largely on the location of the exposure. Because the virus travels along nerve pathways to reach the central nervous system, bites located further from the brain result in a slower progression. Conversely, bites on areas with high nerve density—such as the fingertips—allow the virus to reach the brain more rapidly.
The onset of initial symptoms, such as hypersalivation, fatigue, fever, and irritability, indicates that the virus has compromised the central nervous system. This acute phase inevitably escalates. Late-stage patients suffer from hydrophobia—an inability to drink water caused by agonizing spasms in the throat muscles. This presents a cruel paradox: while the body desperately requires hydration, the physical mechanism of swallowing fails painfully.
While rabies is virtually 100% fatal once symptoms appear, it is entirely preventable with timely medical intervention. Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP), including vaccination, is critical immediately after potential exposure. As a first-aid measure, the wound must be washed thoroughly with soap and water for at least 15 minutes to reduce the viral load before medical help is sought.
Detailed Corrections & Commentary
To achieve a higher band score in IELTS Academic writing, focus on precision, collocation (words that naturally go together), and complex sentence structures.
| Original Concept | Improved Phrasing | Why & How |
|---|---|---|
| “like dogs or bat” | “such as dogs or bats” | Grammar & Style: Use ‘such as’ for formal examples. Ensure consistency in plurality (‘dogs’ and ‘bats’). |
| “thrive in the air” | “survive in the open air” or “is not airborne” | Vocabulary: ‘Thrive’ suggests growth/success. ‘Survive’ or ‘persist’ is scientifically accurate. ‘Airborne’ is the precise medical term for air transmission. |
| “silent deadly virus” | “insidious virus” | Vocabulary: Insidious is a C2-level word describing something that proceeds gradually with harmful effects—perfect for describing rabies. |
| “tip of the hand fingers” | “fingertips” | Conciseness: Avoid wordy descriptions like “tip of the hand fingers”. Use the specific noun ‘fingertips’. |
| “more dense nerve” | “high nerve density” | Collocation: In academic contexts, we discuss ‘density’ rather than things being ‘more dense’ when referring to anatomical structures. |
| “curable if it’s not too late” | “preventable if treated immediately” | Accuracy: Precision is key. Rabies is not ‘curable’ once symptoms start; it is ‘preventable’ via prophylaxis. |
| “painful spasm” | “agonizing spasms” | Descriptive Power: ‘Agonizing’ is a stronger, more emotive adjective than ‘painful’, fitting the severity of the condition. |
Key Writing Tips for IELTS:
- Avoid “Get/Got”: These are informal. Instead of “got bitten”, use “was bitten” or “sustained a bite”.
- Use Signposting: Words like “Conversely”, “For example”, and “This presents a cruel paradox” help guide the reader through your logic.
- Subject-Verb Agreement: “It takes time to feel the symptom depends on…” is grammatically incorrect. Structure it as: “The time it takes for symptoms to appear depends on…”